lampyrine

Archive for July, 2009|Monthly archive page

Oh God, I miss you like fire.

In Uncategorized on July 31, 2009 at 3:29 pm

So yeah, the blogging thing has turned out to be a dud. Maybe I’ll turn it around, but so far I just lie (or sit, or stand) there, thinking about you, instead of writing about you.

Yesterday was a dismal day. I know you spent Wednesday night with her, and it was the six week anniversary of the last time I saw you. What’s most painful is that you don’t seem to miss me at all.

I thought I’d be pouring my heart out

In Uncategorized on July 14, 2009 at 1:09 pm

I envisioned posting multiple times a day, once I’d set this blog up.  But maybe it’s a Murphy’s Law sort of thing: like insurance, once you have it, you stop needing it.

I probably just need training to express myself here.  I certainly had a lot I wanted to say last night, but I chose to lie on my couch in silent agony, instead.  Good times.  I was successful in not embarrassing myself, so that’s something.

21 Days

In Uncategorized on July 9, 2009 at 11:19 pm

It’s been three weeks since the last time I saw you.

You know what a private person I am — embarking on an enterprise like this goes entirely against my grain.  But I need some outlet where I can tell you what I’ve been feeling without ACTUALLY telling you.

I know, that’s what the Gmail Drafts folder is for.  But I resist the impulse to text you or IM you or fuck, drive by your house, a thousand times every day.  If I send this out into the ethernet, maybe someone else going through the same experience will see it and we’ll share an asynchronous moment of connection.

That’s really what I’m missing so much: connecting with you.