lampyrine

I met someone tonight

In Uncategorized on September 23, 2009 at 1:52 am

Last week was horrific for me.  I was so slammed with work that I didn’t have an instant to spare.  It’s not that I didn’t think about you every day at least several times, but I had no free time to obsess.

Surprisingly, maybe that was what I needed to wrench my mind away from you.  Either that, or the 12-week mark really was the charm.

I know two days from now it will be 14 weeks since I last saw you.  I wonder how you’re doing.  Also, do you know what a popular model your goddamn truck is?!  Ten or twenty times a day (when I’m out driving) I spend more time than I should staring at similar trucks, hoping to see you.

I went on a date tonight with a good guy — I could tell right off the bat.  What’s more, he’s cute, and solvent.  And he seems to like me and we have a lot in common.  So why am I tearing up just writing those words??  I don’t want to sabotage myself.  You’re not available.  You chose someone else over me (or, to be fair, I wasn’t successful in winning you away from her; she did come first).  And I want to be happy.  I want someone to share my life with, and maybe start a family with.

I guess I’m crying because saying yes to the possibility of those things with someone else means really saying good bye to you, to the possibility that we ever might be together in the future.

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