If wishes were fishes, we’d all cast nets

In Uncategorized on November 18, 2009 at 8:00 pm

(That saying is courtesy of last week’s Dune re-reading.  Well, skimming, really — it’s like a comfort book for me.)

At any rate, I do wish, on this sixth and last awful Wednesday night, that this wasn’t your night to see her.  Somehow that knowledge has made these evenings even harder for me.

I don’t know where this blog is headed.  Although I was so happy to see you last week, it hadn’t been the best of days.  Plus, I detected no hint of desire (for me) in you.  That was a blow.  You seemed to still find me fuckable about a month ago!

But that was before your birthday celebration and Halloween, and they both involved her meeting your family and friends.  I know that was significant for you.  You’ve reached a milestone in your relationship.  Has the quintessential horndog been tamed?  Or was I just emitting waves of desperation & despair that overpowered my physical charms?!

Who knows?  Sigh.  I feel so ignorant about everything these days.  For a while there, it seemed like I was at least gaining wisdom.  Now I feel like I’ve lost something, some understanding or some spark.  Or maybe I’m just tired out from a difficult semester.

What I wouldn’t give to lie next to you again, though.


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