Ah, this is quite familiar

In Uncategorized on February 27, 2010 at 2:17 pm

Exorbitant amount of writing due?  Check.

Looming deadline(s)?  Check.

Standard lack of motivation, and concomitant obsession with thinking about you?  Check.

You’re in Vegas for another wedding (I wonder if H is with you this time?).  Do weddings make you think about your own romantic goals, your dreams for a future and a family?  Or is all that still in the nebulous “think about it later” category for you?

I’m sitting here on my couch, endeavoring to engage in hard focus and failing, as usual.  I’m very emotional today, due to the stresses of these school deadlines and more drama with my sick pet.  I don’t know, maybe I won’t be the stellar parent I think I will.  I can get so frustrated by my pet’s behavior that I get physically ill.  Why do I let it affect me so much?  It’s like her failures are somehow a reflection of something I’ve failed to do, some need that I haven’t met.  I’m pretty sure that’s wrong — not to mention dangerous when it comes to thinking that way about human beings.  I’d hope I wouldn’t make that mistake.  But is just identifying a thinking error enough to correct the behavior?

I miss you.  We haven’t communicated in over 3 weeks.  I guess the best I can hope for at this point is that you miss me sometimes, too.


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